June 15, 2008 – 2:42 pm
I don’t know why it is… what the reasoning behind it is… If there is just some cosmic dark cloud that moves around… or if *insert high being of your choice here* ( I personally call him God)… or if God just goes on vacation and lets Satan run amuk for a while or what. I am really now sure what it is… but I know it sucks whatever this is. So the old cliche “when it rains it pours” though cliche… really is true.
First, my job was just getting to me more and more. It was a place I had to go and when I did go there was such a feeling to it that most of the days I just felt sick. Then one day I go and they tell me that our jobs are going to be outsourced to India. India of all places. A place I’ve been fascinated with for a long time. A place that is not America but I’ll get to that in a minute.
My first thought when I was told was… HOOORRAAYYYYYY!!!!!! YES I’M OUTTA HERE!!!! … Then, I started to think of the economy here in America and my thought is was “if we are in a recession doesn’t outsourcing jobs to another country make this worse?” So, Blockbuster is now responsible for making the recession worse… and they still want me to help them through this transition and shop in their stores? I think not. And now over the last couple of weeks I’ve gone through just about every thought and emotion you can think of. It has been quite draining. My biggest concern now is what do I do next?
There are so many things that I want to do. Music of course, Photography, and I’d even like to do some charity work. Did you see a common thread in those choices? Like the lack of money involved? Yes all of those things take years to develop and my problem is I have bills and I like to eat (too much but you know). So I’m not going to worry about any of it anymore. I’ve done that now. I’m going to leave it to God and the universe to sort out. I’ve grown weary.
So you’d think that was it… but no… There is much more to the dark cloud hanging over. Each event after seemingly another attempt at some dark cosmic force attempting to ruin my self esteem even more than it is… sometimes succeeding, sometimes not. I am writing this today to tell it all to stop. Officially, evil forces STOP. Right now. Just stop.
Ok I feel better already.
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